Revelations
by queenof-thedead05
Summary: Jane isn't sure about what she's feeling, if it's true or if she's just tired of being alone; but one thing Jane's sure of is that she'll do everything in her power to make sure her relationship with Maura doesn't change. She doesn't care what she feels, she's not about to jeopardize her friendship with Maura for something that might not last.
1. Revelations

**Chapter One: Revelations**

_I have no idea where this came from nor do I know if I'll continue it... I really hope this isn't too OOC (It might go in that direction by chapter three) because I honestly don't know how something like this would go down. Please** Read & Review!**  
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"I have to admit, I wouldn't have found that out by use of an autopsy; I'll have to wait a couple more day for the toxicology reports to confirm, but it looks promising. Good job Detective Frost." Maura congratulates the detective when he finds a possible cause of death on a newer victim. By looking through the case files and crime scene photos, Frost points out a nearly empty pill bottle, once containing a strong sleeping pill, which had been prescribed only two days prior to the victim's death which the three of them had logically concluded could mean overdose.

"Dr. Maura Isles? Did you just assume?" Jane asks jokingly.

"No, I didn't_ Detective Rizzoli_. Hypothetically, if the toxicology reports_ do_ show signs of drug use, this, statistically speaking, could be the most prominent drug in the victim's system… and since there were no physical markings on the body to suggest a shooting, stabbing, strangulation, drowning—" Maura started relaying of different manners of death when Jane stopped her.

"Okay, thank you, Maura." Jane cuts off the doctor with a large half-smile. "We get it; you didn't guess… _completely_." Jane interjects the last part knowing it would get to the doctor. Maura tilts her head to the side as if to ask Jane: _'Really?'_.

"Alright, I think we're done here then." Maura adds on a different note. She'd stayed later than she'd initially thought and needed to get home to feed her tortoise. "I really do appreciate the two of you helping me with the files."

"It's no problem Dr. Isles, really." Frost says as he folds up a case file and puts it on the desk in front of him. Maura stands, grabs her purse from the seat beside her and heads for the office door.

"Here, I'll walk you out." Jane offers as she stands too.

"It's fine, Jane. You don't have to do that."

"To the elevator at least?" Jane asks, giving the doctor her best puppy eyes. Maura folds and walks to the elevator with the female detective; Frost follows lazily behind them.

"Are you sure you're good to drive? I mean it is pretty dark out, you sure you don't wanna just ride home with me? Crash at my place?" Jane offers as Maura presses the button signalling for the elevator.

"I'll be okay, Jane. I need to feed Bass anyway; thank you for the offer though. I'll see you tomorrow?" Maura and Jane hold the gaze for half a second too long and Frost notices.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course."

"Alright. Um... thanks again, Detective Frost; so helpful." Maura and Frost share a smile. "Bye."

"See ya." Jane returns.

"Night, Dr. Isles." Frost waves after the doctor and then the doors close.

Jane turns and starts walking back to her desk to clear away the remaining folders as Frost begins doing the same for his. Frost is mumbling to himself and Jane soon realizes he is describing a scene in a photo taken at one of the crime scenes in a file.

"You know Frost, there's this thing called a PDA, it'll remember all those little details for you." Jane teases her partner as she hands a file to him so he can put it back in the box on his desk.

"Yes, but this way I stimulate my brain, making it easier to remember things later on." Frost explains to a chuckling Jane "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing. It just sounds like something Maura would say. She's gotten to you too, huh?" A file is passed over from partner to partner.

Frost chuckles at this, "I've picked up a couple things, yeah. Could have you beat in the knowledge department in a couple more weeks if I keep it up." He teases.

"Doubtful; no one could beat me when it comes to unnecessary knowledge from Poindexter..." Jane smiles to herself as she moves over to her desk chair to relax.

"You spend a lot of time with her then, don't you? Maura, I mean." Frost asks blatantly.

"Yeah... she's there for me when I need her. She makes me smile when things are going bad, I guess." Frost finishes up putting away the files and sits back down at his own desk.

"When things are going bad? Well, what does she do that makes you smile?" Frost asks, keeping up the small talk.

"I don't know, it's just... There's these things that, when I think about them, they make me happy, like, really happy, and I don't know why."

"These... things. They make you happy because you like them; love them even." Jane mulls that over in her mind. What was he getting at? "What are some of the things you love?" Frost continues, trying to phrase his earlier question differently as he settles back in his desk chair. He had a feeling that what made Jane smile couldn't be accomplished by just anyone so he tries a different tactic.

Jane looks over and stares at her partner as he rolled his desk chair closer to her. Frost had a plan in mind, that was obvious, but what that plan was was completely unknown to Jane. The detective leans forward and places her elbows on her knees.

"Uh... well, I like her smile; and that cute little laugh she has." Jane shifts in her spot on her side of the couch. "I really like the way her eyes do that sparkling thing and how she gets all shy when I compliment her." Jane pauses before chuckling lightly at the memories. "I think it's the cutest thing when she tries to explain stuff with her Google-talk and how she nibbles on her thumb when she's nervous." Jane is staring at nothing as she lists off these details about Maura, Frost still leaning into the side of his chair.

"I really like when she turns and her hair does that little flippy thing... and when she's really close, I can smell the vanilla on her skin. I love how she has such a hard time lying and how she stutters when she tries to save herself." Again, Jane smiles as she paints a mental picture of Maura.

"I love her fashion addiction and her shoe obsession. The sound of her heels clicking when she walks always tells me she's close by. I love how she crosses her legs when she sits and the shape her calves take on when she does it. The way her skin is always so smooth and slightly tanned and just... so..." The detective struggles for a word and leaves the description open ended, not knowing what would best describe Maura's skin. "I love... everything, absolutely _everything_, about her."

"You love Maura." Frost cuts in, getting straight to it. Jane snaps her head in the direction of her partner, slightly stunned by his conclusion. "This isn't one of those times where you list off a bunch of things you like in a best friend and hope some guy is gonna walk in with those same characteristics, trust me Jane. You love Maura, not just her smile or her sense of humor." She lets what her partner said sink in for a moment before she tries to speak again.

"What?! _No_! No, it's not like that, Frost." Jane defends. "I don't like her that way, she's… well she's a _girl_, Frost!" Frost smirks as he watches his partner stumble over her words. Jane shakes her head, a look of slight disgust evident on her face. "Last time I checked, I liked men; _a lot_." Jane scoffed trying to make light of the situation.

"You can like both, Jane…" Frost commented, his smile getting bigger.

"Ew, really, Frost?! No, I don't like her that way. C'mon!" Jane rubs her palms on her thighs, trying to dry off the perspiration accumulating on them. "And stop smirking at me, it's creepy." Frost bends his head to keep Jane from seeing the smile. At the same time, the detective brought his hand up and patted Jane's knee quickly.

"Think about it for a—"

"Frost!"

"Jane! Just think. How does it feel to hear her voice? How does it feel to see her when you walk into work in the mornings? How does it feel when you hug her or hold her hand?" As Frost asks these simple questions, Jane slowly lets herself imagine those situations where she is listening to Maura ramble on about scientific stuff, or when she sees her waiting for the elevator first thing in the morning. She imagines Maura's soft skin as it touches hers; how the smell of vanilla intoxicates her. How she just wants to grab Maura and— _Say it, Jane. Just see how it feels. Humor yourself…_

"I love–" Jane takes a breath before continuing, "I love..._ Maura_." She admits, allowing a grin to plaster itself on her face. "I _love_ Maura. So, _so_ much."

Frost grins at his partner as she comes to the realization. He pats Janes knee lightly. "I'll get us some coffee."  
Jane doesn't respond; still daydreaming about what she had just admitted to, the same smile still stuck to her face.

Frost rummages around the cluttered office kitchen looking for coffee grounds, mugs and the coffee pot. After a few minutes passed, allowing the water the boil and the beans to release their flavour, Frost poured out two cups of coffee for him and his partner. Neither of the detectives had said anything for several minutes and as far as Frost was concerned, it was a comfortable silence; where no one had to speak and everything still seemed normal. But that was not actually the case.

When Frost turned back to the bullpen, hands full with the coffee, Jane was close to tears. Her hands had cupped themselves around her mouth, her fingers meeting at the bridge of her nose.  
"Jane, what's wrong?" Frost quickly places the two mugs on Jane's desk and moves to comfort his partner. Before he has time to completely bend down to meet Jane's eye level, Jane jumps up and away from the incoming detective.

"This-this isn't..." Jane places her hand over her mouth again, trying hard not to cry. "Something's just... wrong." Frost bowed his head, finally understanding what had his partner so upset. "I don't feel... not that way." Jane began to pace, her brain running a mile a minute. "It's gotta be because I haven't seen Casey in a while and I just... maybe, maybe it's 'cause I'm really tired. I'm just not thinking right for now. I just... I need sleep, that's all." Jane's pacing becomes faster and her hands begin to shake. "I love Casey and-and Dean... and I admit I kinda liked Grant too. I like them more than-more than someone like, like Maura!"

"Jane..." Frost starts but is soon cut off by Jane's continuing rant.

"There's something wrong here! This-none of that means _anything_!" Jane gestures to where she'd been sitting earlier, trying to show her partner that what she'd said meant nothing.

"Jane!" Frost yells over his stuttering partner; the pitch of voice Frost used catches Jane off guard and she immediately shuts up. "Nothing you say can ever be taken back. You said what you were thinking and all of it was true. Now, I don't know how it feels to realize something like this, but I do know telling Maura might hel-"

"_No_!" Jane points an accusing finger at her partner. Her eyes suddenly dark and serious, her voice deeper and more gruff than earlier. "She will not know about this. You won't tell her; or Frankie or Korsak or even Ma. _Nobody!_ No one. Can know." Frost leans back, moving away slowly from his approaching partner, slightly scared of the road the conversation had turned onto. The room is silent again, this time neither detective even consider it to be 'comfortable'. Then, after a long moment,

"I won't tell a soul." Frost crosses his heart with a finger. Jane calms herself and drops her hand to her side, noting the two mugs forgotten on the desk. The detective sits back down in her spot, still looking over at the coffee cup closer to her. Jane's eyes are slightly red and puffy even though she hadn't cried completely. She takes the mug in her hands, letting the remaining heat warm her trembling hands.  
It was going to be a long night.

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**_A/N:_**_ Thanks for reading! Please R&R, they keep me writing (seriously if you don't review I'll probably delete this fic lol)!_


	2. Paranoia

**Chapter Two: Paranoia**

_OMG Why did any of you guys read my first chapter? There were so many mistakes! I had originally wrote Jane telling someone else about Maura but then I figured I could probably make that scene a chapter it and of itself so I switched it to Frost and I guess a missed (a lot) a couple things that needed to be changed... plus I find Jane's bond with Frost to be pretty strong __(They're my BrOTP, C'mon!) __and her relationship with him is second in line right after hers and Maura's;)_

_The first and third chapters both cover semi-big things and I didn't want them side by side so this it kind of like a filler chapter even though it covers a couple things/make a few things make sense... Please **R&R**!_

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It had been a long restless night for Jane. She wondered what Frost must think of her, how work the next day was going to be like with him knowing something of that magnitude. Would he tell someone? Just because he knew he had the power to? No, no Frost wasn't like that; was he? Jane's brain was racing with questions and she wondered if this was how Maura felt all the time._ Maura_. Even the _name_... _focus Jane!_ She chastised herself every time her mind drifted off to her friend. That's what she was, her friend. Nothing more. That Jane was sure of. Now, just to keep it that way...

Jane walked into the precinct two hours late but with her mother's new 50% off sprinkle donuts sale in the cafe keeping every cop's attention, no one noticed her absence; except Frost. He notices Jane walk in quietly from the other side of the glass window separating the cafe from the rest of the precinct. He pushes past the hungry officers hoping to meet up with the other detective before she headed up stairs.

"I've been waiting for you..." Frost comments, as he sneaks up on Jane. She jumps and reaches for her gun merely out of habit but once she realizes it's only Frost, she relaxes.

"Guh, it's you. Wadda you want?" Jane asks in mock disgust.

"Why are you late? You're never late." Frost walks with Jane towards the elevator as he waits for a response.

"I slept in... Why do you care?" Jane moves around Frost so she can push the 'up' button on the elevator.

"You're a terrible liar detective Rizzoli."

"What, I did; I got no sleep last night." Jane gives Frost a look that tells him he should already know why.

"Okay... well that could be_ partly_ true then." The elevator dings and the doors swing open. A man with a black briefcase steps out just as the two detectives move inside.

"What are you getting at, Frost?" Jane is annoyed now but keeps her composure as the doors close back up. She told him to keep his mouth shut, if he brings it up-

"You're late because you didn't want to bump into Maura this morning; you knew you'd feel something for her." Frost said it as if he were a small child figuring out the answer to the world's toughest riddle.

"Frost..." Jane warns as she stares at her blurry reflection in the elevator doors.

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone and I won't. That doesn't mean I can't talk to you about it." Frost continues, oblivious to the anger rising inside Jane.

"Frost, shut up..." The female detective has her hands balled into fists once more, her breathing, although quiet, is getting heavy.

"What? All I'm saying is you guys would make a cute coup-"  
Jane turns and violently pushes her partner up against the elevator wall right before hitting the emergency button, bringing the elevator to a halt. Frost grumbles as the hand rail digs into his lower back, a sharp pain coursing through his spine. She raises her left hand and points it directly at Frost's chest; the fingers on her right hand dig half-moon shapes into her palm at her side.

"I told you to never say anything about that. I don't feel anything for her-for any woman. Not like that. Never have, never will. Got it?" She doesn't wait for a response before she releases the emergency stop. "I regret saying those things. It was a mistake telling you in the first place." the elevator dings and Jane leaves the small metal box as fast as her long legs will allow. She walks into the nearly empty bullpen and sees Korsak typing up a report for a new case at his desk.

"When did we get a case? I wasn't called in." She asks, hoping for a good distraction. Jane unbuttons her holster from her belt and sets it in one of her desk drawers.

"Late last night, about 11:45-ish" I told Frost to call you. Jane turns to look at her partner.

"We were working late yesterday with Dr. Isles. Thought you'd want sleep." Jane thinks it over and mentally thanks her partner for thinking of her. Her guilty conscience is getting the best of her and she folds.

"Oh, thanks... and um, sorry about..." Jane points lazily at the closed elevator but before she can finish, Frost waves her off.

"Ah, it's not a problem." Frost smiles and Jane reciprocates it; all while a confused Korsak looks on.

"Wait, what?" The sergeant asks, the report on his computer forgotten momentarily.

"It's nothing, Korsak. Go get a donut, half off today." Frost jokes as he makes his way to his desk.

"I already did, two actually." Korsak smiles as if eating unhealthy was the best thing he'd done in a while.

"Detective Korsak, you and I both know donuts are extremely bad for you" Jane tenses. She knows that voice; how could she ever forget it. "The grease and refined sugars clog arteries, the white flour has little to no fibre and the levels of high fructose corn syrup are just-"

"Right. Uh, thank you Dr. Isles. I'll remember that for next time." Korsak chuckles and turns back to his report. Maura smiles, glad she can help a friend stay healthy. _Just act like you always do, Jane. It's nothing._

"Oh, Jane! Where were you this morning? I had to get Frost to drive me to the crime scene." Maura fixes her hold on a large red bag and goes to smooth out her dark grey pencil skirt at the same time.

"I slept in, sorry."

"Not a problem. I was waiting for you before I started the 'good part' of the autopsy. I know how you like to get information first hand." Maura cracks a smile as Jane looks up at her. The detective can't help but return such a contagious grin. Maura's hair is down and slightly curly as usual. She wore a white and grey floral print blouse with specks of red in it and her mid-length red trench coat to match.

"Thanks, Maura. I'll be down in a minute." Maura nods, says good bye to the other two detectives and heads out. Jane turns back to her computer and when she thinks no one is looking, steals a glance at Maura's retreating figure. As she watches the doctor's hips sway and the nod of her head as she greeted other officers, Jane figured that Maura could maybe be considered slightly attractive. _Maybe_.

Jane catches herself starring (quite obviously now) and pulls her attention back to the half finished note in front of her.

Once Jane was done with the cursory notes on the case, she heads down to Maura's office.  
As the elevator doors open onto the basement floor, Jane is hit with cool air and the faint smell of decomposing organs. She's always wondered how someone like Maura could work it conditions like this, but she never brings it up in fear that the doctor will come to her senses and leave to find a different job; one that didn't involve Jane.  
As the detective rounds to corner, she sees Maura bending over the apparent victim dissecting his insides like always.

"Hey," Jane walks in, rubbing her hands together, getting ready for info.

"He has several puncture wounds to his abdomen; I count... six." Maura gets right to it. She looks over the body, making sure her math is correct.

"Stabbed to death?" Jane asks as she steps closer to the body on the table.

"No."

"So these aren't what killed him?"

"No, it is." Now the detective is confused.

"But you just said he didn't die from the stab wounds."

"And I'm fairly certain I'm correct."

"Then how did he die Dr. Know-It-All?" Maura grins at the nickname. _God, that smile... Jane! C'mon, focus!_

"Myocardial Infarction."

"Heart attack?"

"Mhmm..."

"Can't you just use tiny words like everyone else?"

"Well, I can... but I choose not to." Jane smirks.

"Smart-ass; that's what you are, you know." Maura giggles and continues.

"The victim was stabbed with something sharp that is approximately an inch wide." The doctor moves her fore finger and thumb so they're about an inch apart and lets them hover over one of the stab wounds. "As far as I can tell, he survived the initial stabbing, but as he bled out he had the heart attack."

"Literally scared to death..." Jane looked over the body. Even after so many years on the job, she still couldn't understand how someone could kill another person under any circumstance other than self defense.  
Maura moves around to Jane's side of the autopsy table and holds out her right arm.

"Help me?" Maura gestures to the bloody glove hoping Jane will help peel it off her hand. For leverage, the detective wraps a hand around the doctor's wrist and uses the other to pull the glove both inside out and off at the same time; careful not to touch the blood herself.  
The feel of the M.E.'s skin on hers was indescribable. It contrasted well with Jane's rougher hands but was tanned all the same. The detective keeps a light hold on Maura's wrist as she turns and drops the glove into a metal bowl at the end on the table. _The warmth that radiates from her skin... the smoothness..._ "Um, Jane? Can I have my hand back please?" Maura giggles again and raises her arm to show the detective that she was still holding her wrist.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't even realize." Jane drops Maura's wrist suddenly as if it had started to burn her.

"It's okay." Maura is still grinning as she goes to take off the second glove herself and throw both in the garbage bin across the room.  
Even in bloody scrubs, latex gloves and hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, Maura looks amazing.

Maura turns and unties the apron before tossing it into the garbage bin just as a knock on the door catches the attention of both women. It's the new intern of Maura's with news from a previous case.

"Hey, Dr. Isles. These are the test results from 0096-12; the floater down at the bay." The intern smiled politely and held up a thin folder.

"Oh, thank you Criminalist Porter." Maura takes the folder from the man and begins walking back to Jane. The intern turns back to the door and Maura steals a glance behind her, watching as the man makes his way down the hall. "He's cute, right?" Maura smiles but it's somewhat seductive; different from the ones she usually gives Jane.

"Huh? What—yeah... I guess." Jane stutters. To be completely honest, the detective hadn't really noticed much about the intern. "It's too bad he works for me." Maura looks sideways at Jane and both of them giggle as if they were sharing the same thoughts. Jane was simply humoring the doctor however. She hadn't found the man half as attractive as she had for the other person in the room…

Maura looks back at the folder and scans it quickly, noting nothing beyond normal.

"Nothing of out the ordinary regarding this other victim's tests... Oh well, I'll find something." Maura says matter-of-factly.

"Hey, why don't I know about this case?" Jane points at the folder, keeping up small talk.

"There's more than one homicide detective in Boston, Jane." Maura retorts, a half-smile playing on her lips and Jane smirks back. It's quiet for a beat and then,

"Well, I should actually get going. Gotta tell the guys and start looking for his killer. I'll see you?"

"Of course. Drinks at the Robber?" Maura asks hopefully.

"Meet you there?" Jane pushes the swinging door open, waiting for the doctor's response. Maura simply nods and smiles a toothy grin. Jane returns it and exits the morgue.

She passes a few officers before calling for the elevator and getting on by herself. She presses the button for her floor and the doors close. As soon as she hears the clink of metal on metal, she's bent over and taking deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. _She didn't suspect anything, did she? I mean, it wasn't obvious, was it? Jesus, Jane, calm down. You've got it._ She tells herself as she closes her eyes, trying to keep her head from spinning. If this was how her body reacted after a few minutes in the same room as Maura at work, how was she going to be once at The Dirty Robber?

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_Thank you guys for reading, I really appreciate it! As usual, please **Read & Review**! They help me write (and hopefully write **better**)!_


	3. The Dirty Robber

**Chapter Three: The Dirty Robber**

_I'm so thankful people are actually reading this! But... you guys do remember I have this posted under the Angst tab... right? Get ready for some then. ;)  
__****Jane is probably OOC in this chapter, mainly because I really wanted to get my point across****** Please R&R!**_

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Jane clocks out at seven as usual and waits for Maura in the cafe. She told her friend she'd go to The Dirty Robber and according to Frost, you can't take back what you say, no matter how badly you just want to go home and sleep.  
It isn't long before Jane hears the familiar ding of the elevator and sees Maura walking out. They smile at each other and Jane gets up to meet the doctor at the doors.  
"I was gonna text you but I didn't know if you were busy. Ma got a drive here this morning thanks to Frankie but he'd already left so I let her take mine home. Can I get a drive?" Jane rubs the back of her neck, feeling it get warm under her touch.  
"Of course, Jane. You don't have to ask." Maura grins and links her arm with Jane's. The detective is hesitant about the contact and pulls her arm out of the doctor's loose grip. Maura looks Jane over; _she's never done that before..._  
After the initial thought, Maura lets the gesture go and follows the detective out to her car.  
The ride to the Robber goes as normal; small talk about work, Ma and the guest house, and plans to have lunch together in a couple days. Jane wants so badly to forget about what she had admitted to to Frost the night before. It was just a spur of the moment thing; she didn't actually feel anything like that for Maura. Of course not, they were just good friends. Yeah, _really_ good friends; really _close_ friends... Jane rubs her forehead. Her brain was working overtime now that she was worrying about what Maura thought of her.  
"Are you alright, Jane?" Maura notices the head rub and stops herself mid-sentence about traffic congestion and road systems to see if her friend was alright.  
"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm good. Just a little headache coming on, nothing to worry about." Jane smiles and shifts in her seat beside the doctor. The light up ahead turns red and Maura slows her car to a stop.  
"Here let me just..." Maura trails off as she reaches over to Jane to feel her forehead. Jane twists away from the incoming touch and the doctor pulls her hand back slightly, caught off guard by the quick movement. Although confused, Maura laughs lightly. "I was just going to see if you had a fever, Jane." The light changes back to green and the doctor speeds up. The detective relaxes and steals a glance at Maura, who was now fully focused on the road ahead of her. _Don't let it get to you, Jane._

The two women walk into the bar, laughing lightly; the awkward moment while in the car almost forgotten by both of them. Maura seats herself at a booth and Jane slides in opposite her before calling for a red wine and two beers.  
"Two? You're starting out quick." Maura says after they're both settled in.  
"Well, I just want to make sure the beer here is well purified and just a single bottle won't give me a very accurate answer." Jane smiles and Maura giggles in response. In reality, Jane just knew it was going to be a long night; she wanted to feel as little as possible for as long as she could and she was well aware of the affects alcohol had on the body.

Three hours, two and a half wine glasses and five beers later, Jane and Maura were laughing it up like old friends should. Completely drunk and unusually happy, Jane sits back, hands on the table twiddling her thumbs and stares over at Maura. _She is beautiful; and funny. She's super smart... _Jane starts daydreaming like she had with Frost and doesn't notice Maura grab hold of her hands at first. The doctor runs her thumbs in circles on the tops of Jane's hands, careful not to pay too much attention to the scars. But within milliseconds, the detective comes to her senses and pulls away from Maura's grip.  
"Jane," The blonde woman whispers as she pulls back her now empty hands and rests them on her lap. "You're acting... odd today. Are you sure you're okay?" Jane's heart starts pumping harder. This was bad. Very bad.  
"I'm fine, Maura. Really." Jane fakes a smile but the doctor sees right through it.  
"You never used to pull away from me, and you've done it several times today. You're not okay." _Crap. This is all my fault_, Jane thought to herself. _If I wasn't so close to Maura before, making sure I don't get closer now wouldn't be such a problem._  
"I just think it's kinda weird that we do that so much..." _Wow, Jane. Really? Such an idiot._ Maura laughs louder than normal, clearly inebriated.  
"What, touch each other?" Maura reaches back out and beckons for Jane's hands. Cautiously, the detective gives the other woman her hands. Maura holds them tight and continues. "People do this all the time, you know that." Jane can feel her skin getting hot again... _She feels so warm and soft..._ Jane feels her head get heavy, the beers taking their toll... _That skin free of clothing... Close to hers... _Jane pulls away from Maura again and even faster than the first time. _I don't feel that way! _She tells at herself as she runs her hands through her hair.  
If she felt that way every time she and the doctor touched, maybe she should just take a few days to clear her head; to get away from her. _I never met two people who were good friends after they were something more; never ever, but a little fight? After a couple days apart, I'm sure I can be friends with Maura again-and all these feeling will have gone by then..._  
"You know, I really don't get it..." Jane whispers, hoping Maura hears her.  
"What?" The doctor leans in slightly, a grin still on her face.  
"I don't get..." _Say it Jane. You can't be anything more then friends, it'll never last. You know that... _"I don't get how we're friends. You do so many things that just-" _Make me smile and laugh and love you even more each time,_ "-Just annoy me so much."  
Maura furrows her brow and the grin falters. "Wh-what?"

"I think your smile is too toothy, and you laugh is weird." _It's now or never, Janie._ "You get this look on your eyes that makes me think you're gonna cry all the time and it's annoying." Maura leans back again as her lip starts to tremble, her eyes dart to a couple of the patrons sitting at the bar beside her and notice they're stares. "Oh, and when I compliment you, I never get so much as a 'thank you'. I hate the way you talk with all of those big-ass words," This isn't happening; not again... Maura thinks as she looks down at her hands, she worries her thumb nail, hoping to God Jane would stop. Her prayers aren't answered. "When you turn around I always get your hair in my face and I feel like gagging when I smell your perfume. I hate the fact you can't lie, I hate your fashion addiction and your stupid shoe obsession. The sounds your heels make gives me a migraine and you sit like you've got a stick up your ass!" Jane is yelling now and breathing deeply as she tries to compose herself. "I hate... everything, absolutely everything about you."

Maura is shell shocked by this sudden outburst and her eyes quickly well up with tears.  
"Jane... you don't-you don't really mean-you're drunk an-" Maura stutters as she tries to convince not only Jane but also herself that the detective didn't mean what she'd said, but she's cut off by the other woman.

"No, Maura. I mean everything. I don't know how I have even been able to put up with you for so long, I really don't." Jane clenches her sweaty hands and expeditiously shuffles out of the booth. "I gotta go, I have..." Jane's voice fades and she realizes she's got no reason the leave other than to get away from Maura and so, "...Actually I just, I don't want to be with you right now." And as far as Jane is concerned, that's true; even if it's for a different reason then what Maura may think.

The bar is silent. All eyes are on the doctor still seated at the table and Jane through the glass window as she leaves to hail a taxi. Maura's face goes red instantly, she wasn't used to being the center of attention and now, at least twenty-five pairs of eyes were looking over at her all wondering the same thing; what the hell just happened? Maura wants to know the answer to that question as well. The doctor turns quickly and starts going through her purse. A few members in the Robber begin their own separate conversations and Maura is thankful. She pulls out a twenty dollar bill from her wallet, not caring for her change, drops it on the table in front of her and gets up to leave. Her face burning and hands trembling terribly, Maura fakes complete composure as she opens the door to exit the still unusually quiet bar. She crosses the road, pulling her keys from her purse as she goes, and once at her car, moves to unlock the driver's side door. Her hands are shaking still and that keeps Maura from unlocking the door quickly. She cups both hands around the key and desperately pushes it forward, hoping to eventually get it centered with the lock and open the door from there. After a few failed attempts, the key finally enters the lock and Maura turns it hastily. She slides inside the cold, dark car and shuts the door behind her just as fast. Making no attempt to the start the engine yet, Maura pulls her quivering hands to her face and they hover by her forehead as she tries to comprehend what had just happened. Maura's right hand comes down and cups itself over her mouth while the other wraps around her own waist, trying in vain to calm her twisting stomach. The doctor's eyes turn red and splotchy almost instantly. The only sound to be heard is her semi-quiet whimpers and sniffs as she begins crying incessantly to herself; alone.


	4. Maura

**Chapter Four: Maura**

_Brilliant title for a chapter, right?  
Anyway, first off: Super sorry about not updating for a couple days. School started and I wanted to get through the first week before coming back to this (Sadly, school comes before FF, we all know that). Secondly, I know how terrible it was of me to write Jane that way; this fic has taken on a mind of its own and is heading in a direction I had not intended. I also have to admit tht I really dislike how this chapter turned out...  
-I want to let everyone know that I have a tough time as it is with emotions in real life, so writing about them is 100x harder, I apologize if it's lacking the strong emotions you guys were hoping for... **Please R&R!**_

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Maura had pulled herself together only long enough to drive back to her home. As soon as the front door was closed behind her, she broke down once more. She didn't bother checking for Angela or any surprise guests as she tossed her bag and shoes beside her couch. Her eyes were puffy and a dark sickly-looking red colour. Salty tears streaked her makeup and burned her eyes. Maura hadn't felt this terrible since her four years in high school.  
_It's happening all over again. History is repeating itself because I didn't change anything._ The doctor thought to herself irrationally. Maura shuffles slowly to her dark bedroom and simply crawls into bed; not caring if her expensive clothing get wrinkled or creased. She wants something familiar to comfort her and her usual first choice had just abandoned her moments earlier. Her hands are shaking badly and she grabs her pillow tightly, hoping the nerves will settle somewhat. _I'm still that same annoying girl everyone hated... only this time they said it to my face._ Maura chokes on her thoughts, her breathing ragged and quick.  
The petite blonde stays there, lying on top of her bed all alone; with no one to hold her and say it was all going to be better. No one to tell her she was worth more than those stupid tears.

Her eyes dry slowly and her breathing evens; she's all cried out; for now. Maura stays in the same spot however, too tired to move or talk or even think. She hopes sleep takes over soon, but then a knock sounds at her front door. Before the doctor has time to completely collect herself and get up to answer, it opens and the familiar voice of Angela Rizzoli is heard.  
"Hello? Maura?" She whispers as she steps into the dark house. "I saw your car pull up. Wanted to know if you had plans with..." Angela stops when she notices the doctor come out of her bedroom slightly dishevelled. Maura tries in vain to fix herself last minute. "Oh, I am so sorry, sweetie. I didn't know you had someone over, I-" Angela turns quickly and makes for the door, thinking she may have just interrupted something.  
"What? Oh, no! No, I don't have anyone over." Angela turns back halfway; testing to see of the blonde was lying. Maura tries for a smile, but it fails and Angela's close inspection tells her the doctor had actually just been crying.  
"Maura, sweetie, are you alright?" Angela's motherly instincts kick in and she moves closer to the puffy-eyed female across from her. Maura backs away from the hug and nods quickly.  
"Why wouldn't I be?" Angela squints back at the blonde, testing. Maura doesn't wait too long for a response before changing the subject. "What were you going to ask my before?" Maura gestures to the island in the middle of the kitchen and Angela takes a seat. She starts boiling water for tea and joins the older Rizzoli.  
"Well, I wanted to take Jane out for lunch in a couple days, a kinda 'mother/daughter' thing, but I didn't know if you two had plans or not." Angela grinned.  
Maura shakes her head slowly as her mouth tightens into a straight line, "No. We don't. I don't think we will for a while." She means for the second part to be for her ears only but Angela hears easily.  
"What? Why not? Did Janie do something?" The older Rizzoli instantly blames her daughter jokingly, hoping to make the doctor somewhat happier knowing someone was on her side. But did Maura really want to tell the mother of her (_former?)_ best friend what her daughter had said to her less than an hour previously?  
"She just said a few things that made me a bit sad." Again, Maura smiled a tight lipped half grin to show it hadn't gotten to her much.  
"A bit sad?! Maura, sweetie you were just crying, hard, and don't tell me you weren't." Maura opened her mouth to protest but she knew she couldn't lie to Angela if anyone at all.  
"I just... I thought Jane was my friend." Maura looks down at her hands and busies herself with the beaded bracelet on her wrist.  
"Isn't she? You guys are inseparable." Angela shifts and puts her hand on top of Maura's forearm. "I mean... I thought she liked me. But, at the Robber tonight… I'm still not completely sure what happened just yet..." Maura furrows her eyebrows in concentration, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.  
"Well, what happened? I'm sure Janie had a reason, she usually does." Angela defends her daughter subtly. Maura takes a moment to center herself. Knowing that if she starts remembering the details too quickly, she's sure to go into hysterics again. The younger blonde takes a breath and starts.  
"I'm sure she didn't mean it, but she told me... she told me she hated me." Too soon. Maura ducks her head and holds her eyes shut tight, fighting back the burning sensation behind her eyelids. Angela places a comforting hand on the doctor's back.  
"Oh, Maura, sweetie are you sure she said that? To _you_?" The water is boiling now, but neither of the women move to pour it in the kettle.  
Maura chokes back a sob and nods.  
"She basically yelled it at me, right in front of everyone at the bar." Angela gasps and rubs the doctor's back in large circles. The older Rizzoli knew she should get both sides to this story, but at the same time she knew Maura was a smart woman and unable to lie without breaking out in a severe case of hives. She didn't even consider the doctor to be making up something like this. Exaggerate it? Extremely unlikely, but still possible. She decided to check on Jane for her side of the story anyway. "She told me the things she hated about me and how she was surprised we were friends at all!" Maura turns towards Angela, explaining how confused and mad she is by just her tone of voice. The older woman in stunned and at a loss for words. The large home is quiet, minus the sound of water slowly turning to steam on the stove. "I though high school was going to be the worst part of life, with the rumours and 'backstabbing' but... What Jane said; it was just as bad. What she said showed me that I'm still that annoying know-it-all that got on everyone's nerves." Maura reminds herself of those days in high school when she ate lunch alone and spent her breaks in the library reading over science homework a grade higher then her classmates. Angela rubs the doctors back some more, rethinking her decision to check on Jane later that night. It was almost eleven after all. She didn't want to be driving around so late.  
"Would you mind if I stayed here a little while longer?" Angela asks, knowing Maura is too proud to ask for company this way. The younger blonde nods and smiles lazily.  
"I'd like that. Thank you." The two women share a look and Angela gets up from her seat.  
"I'll finish the tea then." As Angela busies herself in the kitchen, her back turned to Maura, she pulls out her cell phone and hastily texts the one other person she knew was close to Jane, yet not related. She didn't need any more family drama than there already was with her now involved. Frost's cell phone number pops up on the screen and the older Rizzoli types up a quick message asking the detective if he could possibly check up on Jane. She adds a short line of text at the end asking Frost to get some questions answered as well.

Frost is just heading to bed when he hears his phone beep on top of the bedside table. He walks over to it sleepily and reads off the message in his head.

Angela R.: _I'm at Maura's house. She's in bad shape. Looks like Jane said she hated a bunch of stuff about Maura and walked out on her. I kind of promised I would stay here with her so could you check on Janie for me?  
__If she tells you why she did it, can you let me know? Thank you in advance._

Frost is out the door and in his car within seconds; racing down the empty streets and barreling towards his partner's apartment. He had an idea of what happened at the bar, but had not planned for it to turn out this way.

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_**A/N:** Bah! I originally had this chapter Maura AND Jane's points of view during the same time frame (Kind of flip-flopped between the two POVs) But it sounded so confusing (and it was sooo long!) so I divided them up into two separate chapters... Know this one is pretty short (lol) meaning the next update won't be late because I have Ch. 5 already set up for you guys!_

_**This doesn't mean you guys don't have to review/follow/favourite! Comments and criticism are always appreciated!_


	5. Jane

**Chapter Five: Jane**

_So this is the Jane-centred chapter that takes place right after the scene at the bar (Or the same time as Maura, whatever way you want to look at it;)). **Please R&R!**_

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Jane wastes no time in hailing a taxi. She quickly relays her address to the driver and watches as the bar passes by slowly. Her skin is hot, the palms of her hands sweaty. Her head is pounding and her insides feel as if they're about to explode. Jane's mind wanders to what had happened seconds ago. Maura's face during her rant. The way those hazel eyes which always held that sparkle were distant and saddening. How her lip had started to tremble when Jane had told her she hating everything about her... Jane bends forward and cups her face in her hands, trying to keep her head from spinning. A dull, dark pain makes its way up the detective's spine and lodges itself in her throat. She tries to swallow it back down, but in doing so, she makes it larger and harder to breathe. Maura's usually bright, happy face had gone bland and pale after hearing those words while sitting in the booth. Jane hadn't just taken a step back from her relationship with Maura; she'd pushed the doctor to the ground, kicked dirt in her face and then ran in the opposite direction.

"What did I just do?" Jane whispers to herself in the back of the cab. The taxi makes a turn and Jane leans into it. "God, I think I'm gonna be sick..." The driver hears the second part and responds, thinking it was his driving causing her stomach to flip uncontrollably.  
"I know this ain't no five star limo but if you mess it up back there, you pay for the cleaning!" Jane ignores the driver's comment and focuses solely on breathing evenly. Don't cry. Don't you dare cry, Jane!

The female detective pays the taxi driver, not caring for her change, and moves quickly to the front doors of her apartment building. She is still tipsy from the drinks at the Robber and clumsily makes her way up the stairs and down the hall to her apartment. She unlocks the front door, stumbles inside, locks it back up and heads to her fridge in hopes of there being beer left. She finds a couple bottles stuffed at the back and opens one. She fumbles with the cap as she takes off her shoes and moves to the couch. My plan; get as drunk as possible and pass out. That way I can forget everything that's happened tonight. Jane takes a long draw from the bottle and then smacks her lips unceremoniously. Then another. And another. After only seconds, the bottle is empty and the detective is making her way back the fridge. She opens the door and reaches in for the second bottle. Her hand knocks a jug of milk which in turn knocks a bottle of red wine on the other side of it. Jane steadies the wine bottle, reminded of the time she had gone out to buy it so Maura could have something to drink while at her place. The second beer was going to have to wait. Jane's mind plays back those last few moments before she left her best friend alone in the bar. Those sad eyes, that trembling bottom lip... The heat in Jane's body rises once more to her face and her grip on the empty beer bottle tightens. She closes the fridge door, hoping that not seeing the bottle of wine would get rid of the thoughts now in her mind. It was all her fault. She wasn't getting rid of some little feelings; she was killing her friendship with the one person she ever truly felt something for! Jane's level of anger is at its highest and before she can stop herself, she is throwing the glass bottle across the kitchen. It smashes against the cupboard and falls in bits and pieces to the ground around her. Jane's eyes water and she whimpers. Her voice is gone as she tries to take in choking breaths. Then the first tears fall; she loses all control and falls limply against the closed fridge door before sliding down and sitting in the broken glass spread out beneath her. Her sobs grow louder and louder; she doesn't care if anyone hears her. Not anymore. She had just ruined the last great thing left in her life, so what was the point? Jane tries to stand, but pieces of the glass that litter the floor stick to her hands and feet, slicing them when pressed into the floor. A sting of physical pain enters Jane's mind but she doesn't register it; the emotional pain, the hurt she has caused Maura, is so much more painful that the glass slicing up the palms of her hands and bottoms of her feet. She'd been shot, punched, broken a few bones... All of that was nothing compared the agony that filled every fibre of her being at this very moment. If this is what it felt like to love someone and not be with them, she never wanted to be without Maura ever again. But now it is too late. She's screwed everything up so badly that Jane believed there was no rewinding this; no matter how much she wanted to turn the clock back.

Jane had been crying for over forty-five minutes and then dead silent, starring at nothing for at least fifteen when here's a knock on her apartment door. The detective is drained both emotionally and physically, and makes no move to open it. The knock sounds a second time, slightly more forceful. And then again, this time a voice accompanies it.  
"Jane, it's Frost. Open up." He sounds tense and Jane slowly gets up from the glass covered floor to answer it; ignoring the stabs of pain coming from the glass bits still stuck in her skin. She brushes away the glass from her palms and bottoms of her feet before unlatching the locking mechanism and swinging the door open. She is faced with a very angry looking Frost; he pushes his way passed her and starts pacing her small apartment. Jane stands by the door still wondering why he was at her home.  
Neither one of the detectives say anything for a while and then,  
"Sit down." Frost mumbles. Jane hears him clearly but makes no move to take a seat. Frost waits a moment before repeating himself. "I said sit down, Jane!" Frost looks directly at the other detective and with slight hesitation, Jane sits down on her couch. Frost continues his pacing in front of her, trying to collect his thoughts. He'd just answered a text from a very worried Angela, the subject of which regarded Maura.  
"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Frost yells, his pacing coming to a halt. Jane stares at him, stunned by his words. "The Dirty Robber? Maura? Ringing any bells?" How did he...? "Why did you say shit like that to the person you love? How is it possible to be such an asshole?" Jane could feel the burning at the back of her throat again. She entwines her fingers and rubs her palms, trying to keep her mind busy with other things. Frost is fuming, and Jane isn't in control of the situation. Sure, she hated being the underdog, but she simply didn't have the energy to fight him; plus she knew he was right, and on more than one note.  
"I did a terrible thing, Frost; I-"  
"Oh, are you just realizing that now?" The male detective asks sarcastically.  
"I realized it the second I did it. As soon as those words came out I just..." Jane looks away again; the burning is making its way up behind her eyelids and she knows the tears are going to come sooner rather than later.  
"I... I don't know. I just..." Jane stutters and brings her hands up to her face. She presses her fingers into her brow line, trying to make sense of everything that's happening. She takes a moment and Frost lets her, knowing how hard it is for Jane Rizzoli to admit when she's dead wrong about something. "I thought that by saying those things... I might actually believe them and this stuff that I feel would... I don't know, would just, go away." Jane tears up and her voice cracks. "It feels like this... monster is inside and trying really hard to ruin everything I love!" Jane rubs her hands together, harder than before. "And by saying those things the other night, I let it loose!" She breaks down and the tears come crashing down. Frost moves around the table and hugs the other detective quickly; she makes no move to try and leave the embrace. In fact, she turns and hugs her partner back, crying into his shoulder.

Her sobs are ugly and loud. Drenching the other detective's shirt after a few short moments. Jane is surprised she's let herself crumble like this in front of someone as strong as her partner. She feels the need to gain the control she's lost and tries pulling herself together. After a couple more minutes of delayed sniffs, Jane quiets down. She wipes her eyes free of the remaining salty drops and sits back into her original position.  
"Thank you, Frost." Jane steals a glance at the detective before taking a breath.  
"Not a problem." Silence. And then slowly,  
"Frost?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Do you... do you think she'll forgive me?"  
Frost stares over at the other detective as if thinking she already knows the answer to the question.  
"If I were her, I would never ever even want to see you again." The words hit Jane hard and the tightness in her chest increases tenfold. She hunches over and runs her hands over her face, feeling the tears well up again.  
"Oh, God. What have I done?" Frost doesn't respond to this, letting Jane think over all the things she's fucked up on her own. She had taken it too far and her original plan had backfired completely. Jane imagines a few times in the past when her relationships caved in and realizes she's never felt this strongly about saving a single one of them. Something about Maura made this relationship different. "Frost, why... why do I feel this way about her? It's never happened with anybody else."  
The apartment goes completely silent. Frost makes a move after a few minutes and replies; his tone quiet and soft.  
"It's called 'love'." Jane makes a face as of to ask, _why her though?_ "...and you don't choose who you fall in love with. If you feel something, it isn't wrong- it never is." Frost adds, almost reading Jane's mind. Jane slowly lifts her head and looks up at her partner.  
"And how do you know?"  
"This really great doctor friend of mine told me once that the body reacts on its own accord; you can't really do much about it. You don't really get a say." Frost smiles, hoping it comforts Jane. She twitches a half smile at him before dropping her head again. "I think you really, really hurt her Jane." Jane closes her eyes tight, her lip quivers. "Why didn't you just admit to her what you felt?" Jane thinks over the question and plans out her answer.  
"Because I don't want to lose the one true friend I've ever really had for something that probably won't last..."  
"Jane, by saying those things you ended up doing exactly want you wanted to avoid..." Frost starts, but when the female detective looks up at him, he notices she's completely serious and not in the mood for evidence of the contrary.  
"I've gone through more relationships then I can count, all of which have failed, Ma and my father are divorced, Frankie and Tommy with their girlfriends, Maura with her boyfriends..." Jane regrets adding the last part as memories flood her conscience. She pushes them back down and continues. "All of them ended and I haven't seen any of those people stay friends after the fact." Jane believes she has a valid point and while on one hand she does, on the other, she is taking it all out of context.  
"I think the reason why none of those people stayed friends was because their relationship wasn't built on such a strong friendship as the one Maura and you share." They had nothing more than a few laughs and sex. You and the doctor... you have so much more than that." Frost points out, hoping Jane doesn't argue with him. The female detective is quiet for a beat and then,  
"Do you think it would be a good idea to go see her?"

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_**A/N: **I can honestly say that I'm really stuck on this chapter ending... To be honest, I hate it completely. I have no idea how to plan out the next bit and your **comments/reviews** would actually be the one thing that keeps this story moving forward :$_


	6. Confrontation

**Chapter Six: Confrontation**

_Sorry for the longer wait... I had no idea how to write something like this...** Please R&R**!  
_

_EDIT: Soo... I've just been grounded... Sorry! Don't expect an update any time soon :(_

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Frost had not liked the idea of going to see Maura so soon. He knew sooner was better than later in most cases, but he figured Maura needed time to process the recent events; give Jane some time to level herself as well. He offered the suggestion to go see the other woman the next morning. Making sure it was late enough not to wake her, but early enough so it didn't seem Jane was putting anything off for too long.

Frost stayed with his partner for a while longer after they decided on a time to see Maura, to make sure she was still holding up, but left hoping Jane would take advantage of the few hours left of the night and get some sleep.

Jane tosses and turns for the next few hours. Her bed seems colder and denser than usual as she contemplates how her apology should go. She wonders about details like bringing over a bottle of wine or chocolates or something that said sorry without her saying it. She isn't used to doing things like this... The detective is tired and her muscles ache, but her brain doesn't shut down long enough for her to fall asleep. There is too much to worry about. Too many things she needs to say to the doctor and not enough time to say them; if she knew how to say those things at all.

'Oh, hiya Maura. Sorry 'bout what I said. By the way I'm in love with you.' Nope, it just didn't seem like that was going to work out in Jane's favour.

Jane turns restlessly onto her side and tries focussing her eyes on the bright green numbers on her digital clock. 4:37am. There is no way she is going to get enough sleep even if she passes out right then and there. Jane lazily moves to sit up, pulls the covers off of her and stands. She shuffles over to her bedroom door, turns the knob and walks out into the small hallway. The floorboards creak beneath her as she makes her way into the kitchen to start the coffee maker. Jane pulls the instant coffee from a cupboard, not bothering to turn on any lights while doing so. She starts the machine and heads back down the hallway to her bathroom. Jane turns the shower on, hoping the sound of water through the pipes won't wake her neighbours, and gets undressed.

The water is warm but not enough to rid the detective's body of all the things she hated about herself. She turns the nozzle further to the left, the water slowly heating up. It scolds Jane's skin but she makes no attempt to move out of the burning stream of water. The heat of it all initially soothes the detective's sore muscles, but is now simply burning away at the thin layers of skin. Jane has never hated anyone more than she hates herself is this moment. She's made everything 100x more difficult by lying and trying to convince herself of something that was untrue. She loved Maura, and there was nothing she could do about that; no matter how hard she tried to deny it, she was hurting more people than just herself.

Soon the boiling hot water goes mildly warm and then room temperature. She reluctantly steps out, wraps a towel around her small waist, and goes back to the kitchen. The coffee was made and had cooled only slightly by the time Jane makes it to the counter, but she doesn't mind. She pours half of the coffee from the pot into a large travel mug and drinks casually as she moves back her bedroom to get dressed.

Jane finishes off her outfit by adding a flack jacket over a white undershirt and blue tee. She has already downed most of the coffee in the travel mug and was wide awake now. Checking the time, Jane contemplates whether or not she should actually wait until the time Frost and her had agreed on to see Maura, or go now; at 5:15am.

The detective plucks up the courage and before she can rethink her decision, she is out the door and walking down the steps of the apartment building to her car.

Jane is about three fourths of the way to Maura's house when she suddenly loses her nerve. Her heart beats faster; her whole body feels heavy as she turns onto the doctor's street. What the hell am I doing? She won't be awake. She'll hate me more for waking her up, she'll be in a bad mood and I won't get to say the things I want to get out. Jane's brain spits out information and irrational assumptions. It's times like this where she truly wishes she had the mind of Maura Isles. She slows the car down as she pulls up to the doctor's home. The lights are off, as with almost every other house on the street. The only sounds Jane hears is the rhythmic pumping of blood in her ears and the quiet purr of the car engine. She stares over at the dark house, wondering if she should keep moving forward, or put the car in drive and go back to her apartment. She takes a swig of nearly cold coffee from the now empty travel mug, turns the engine off and steps out into the cool, early morning air.

The sunlight slowly makes its way over the tree tops and turns the dark blue-black sky a few shades lighter.

The usually strong, confidant detective is now shaking in her high heeled black boots. The driveway seems longer than ever before and Jane's nerves are completely fried. Her mind wanders as she tries to compose herself and when she finally comes back to reality, she is stopped right in front of the doctor's door.

The detective rubs her hands together nervously. Jane checks over her shoulder, then tries looking through the thin window beside Maura's front door to see if perhaps the doctor was awake; no luck on confirmation. She hesitantly raises her arm and knocks on the door blocking her path. Jane holds her breath as she strains her ears in hopes of hearing movement inside that would suggest the smaller blonde was already up and ready for the day. Instead, the detective heard a door creek open on the inside of the house and peers inside the tiny window again. Jane makes out the blurry figure of Maura stepped out from her bedroom. Aw, crap... She was asleep. This was a bad idea, Jane. Such a stupid, bad id- Before the taller woman can chastise herself further, the front door swings open and a very tired looking Maura steps into view.

The doctor was smiling at first, like she normally did when she was about to meet someone, but when she realized it was Jane on the other side of the door, the smile faded almost instantly. Both women stand there facing each other in silence for what seems like an eternity; Jane notices the dark circles around the doctors eyes and the colour of her skin makes her look slightly sick. The detective is rubbing at the scars on her palms and Maura waits stalk still for her to say something. When she doesn't start, Maura huffs and begins to shut the door again.

"Wait, Maura... wait." Jane sticks out a foot to keep the bulky door from shutting all the way. Maura raises a hand to her hip and looks down at the floor as she pulls the door back open. "Can... can I uh, come in?" Jane asks shakily. The air is heavy and the morning wind makes the detective shiver. Maura hesitates but moves to the side, allowing Jane to step in. The doctor shuts the door behind her and moves to the couch in her living room. She sits down; her head resting on her arm as she leans on the armrest and her feet curl up beneath her. Maura pulls a small quilt folded on the end of the couch and wraps it loosely over her small frame, knowing Jane was still standing in the doorway probably watching.

Again, the house is quiet; neither woman deciding to talk and then,

"If you don't have anything to say Jane, I suggest you leave." Maura pipes up from her spot on the couch and Jane scuffs her boots on the floor mat beneath her, trying to keep herself busy.

"Did I wake you up?" Yeah, avoid the thing that had you driving over here in the first place; good plan, Jane. Maura shifts on the couch, expecting something a little more along to lines of an apology.

"No... to be honest, I haven't even slept yet." Jane takes a deep breath, sulking in the fact that her words were hurtful enough to keep the doctor from sleeping soundly.

"I'm sorry... for-for what I said." Jane whispers shyly. "I didn't mean it; any of it." Maura readjusts the quilt draped over her and speaks up.

"Frankie once told me that an inebriated mind is a truthful tongue. You had had several drinks right before you _spoke your mind_." Jane's throat tightens and begins to burn. She looks up, trying to calm herself. It was stressful talking to someone who refused to talk.

"That's not true, Maura."

"Oh, really? So you think the things the people in school said and the terrible things you said were almost identical just by_ chance_?" Maura turns on the couch and looks at the detective sideways. Jane walks over to the side of the couch, hoping to make eye contact with the doctor.

"Maura, they said those things because they hated that you were better than them."

"So you hate me then?" Maura misses the point of what Jane said.

"What? _No!_ Good God, Maura!" Jane is fuming but takes a breath. "I dont hate you, Maura... I-I..." Another breath, "_I love you_." Maura scoffs and shakes her head.

"Well, you have a strange way of showing that. You're a terrible liar, Jane Rizzoli. Even worse than me... or is that even possible?" Maura asks sarcastically. Jane huffs and starts pacing the small open area behind the couch.

"Maura, listen to me! I didn't mean the stuff I said! I was just trying to convince myself that they were true!"

"Why would you _want_ to try and hate me?! What did I do to deserve something like that?" Maura gets up from her spot on the couch and faces the detective directly.

"You've made me feel something, Maura! That's why, okay!"

"That doesn't even make sense, Jane!"

"Well of course you don't think it makes sense... You're so literal!" Maura gapes at the detective and Jane realizes what she said a second too late. "Oh, c'mon Maura, you're a genius for God's sake. Stop acting like you don't know what I'm talking about! What I'm feeling!"

"But I don't! I have no idea what you're feeling unless you tell me, Jane!"

"I just did, Maura! You know I'm not good this stuff! Stop acting like this!"

"Acting like what? I don't put on acts! I don't go around acting like a bitch because I don't know how to express my feelings!" Maura yells back.

"Maura please listen to me! I didn't-"

"No! I'm done, Jane. Get out." Maura backs up and points at the door.

"Maura, I..." Jane tries in vain to undo what she's done.

"Get. _Out_." Maura moves to the door and pulls it open quickly. The house is silent again, and slowly the taller women shuffles out the door. Maura slams the door behind Jane and she jumps at the loud sound it creates. The sun is almost over the horizon and it casts a pink glow in the sky. Jane looks up at the tinged clouds.

"Pink sky in the morning, sailor's warning." She scoffs. "Thanks for the heads up..." Jane walks back to her car and speeds off back to her cold, dark lonely apartment on the other side of the city; with adrenalin pumping, Jane is too angry to be sad. _At least for now._

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_Ewww, what am I doing? Reviews are always lovely!__  
_


	7. On With the Day

**Revelations: On With the Day**

_So, so, SO sorry it took me so long to update! School comes first and sadly I'm not all that good at it... groundings suck. This is basically a filler chapter; I wrote it out tiny piece by tiny piece (sneaking onto the computer is hard to do when it's in the same room as your family 95% of the time -.-) and I didn't want to wait too long to update.  
**Please R&R!**_

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Saying Jane was upset would have been the understatement of the year. The traffic was just starting to get thick when the detective pulled up to her apartment building, fuming. She was supposed to go to work today after only one day off, but Jane was in no mood.  
Her head was spinning, her heart pumping hard and fast. Jane climbed the stairs to her small apartment and unlocked the front door carelessly. She stepped over the broken glass still coating the floor and then down the hall to her bedroom. Jane kicked off her shoes and throws her suit jacket to the floor, not caring about possible wrinkles. She rubs her forefinger and thumb over her eyebrows as she tries to make sense of the past couple hours. She'll just call in sick when she feels like it.

Maura had lain back down on her couch, the same quilt from earlier wrapped around her once more. She too had to get to work, and just like Jane, did not want to. However, unlike the female detective, Maura wasn't about to take two days off in a row. After only a second of deliberation, Maura was standing and making her way to the master bathroom to get ready.

The doctor drives to the precinct in silence. She waves and nods pleasant 'hello's to passing officers but only because she doesn't want anybody to notice her poor mood and stopping to ask why. Maura just wants to get to the morgue, finish some paperwork, do any possible autopsies (although she hopes there are none) and clock out.  
Much to the doctor's dislike, at around 6:00pm, a call is passed through to her office phone letting her know a body has been found by a children's park and waiting for her medical expertise. After missing the initial call, and only noticing the message thanks to a blinking light on the answering machine, Maura grabs her gear and heads back out to the elevator.

The blonde woman silently prays to herself that Jane isn't in today, and then chastises herself for thinking so poorly of someone she cared about (and thought they cared the same about her). She pulls into the parking lot by the park and quickly pinpoints the crime scene by the yellow police tape encircling it. Maura's eyes dart from one person to the next, trying to find the tall, thin detective without looking too noticeable.

"Oh, Dr. Isles. You're kinda late..." Maura looks up as she bends down to the cold, lifeless body beneath her. It was Korsak. The doctor takes a deep breath and responds.  
"I had a long night; couldn't sleep. I was trying focus on all the paperwork Dr. Pike had handed over to me; didn't hear the phone... can you believe that knucklehead-." Korsak wasn't all that interested in where this conversation was going. It was usually Jane that the doctor talked to about daily issues and men...  
"Ah, right. Okay well, I need to get some stuff to Frost. Call if you have something?" Korsak didn't wait for a response before he was walking back under the police tape and over to Frost standing with a couple other officers.  
Maura glances up, slightly confused by Korsak's quick departure. She catches the larger male pointing towards her just as Frost looks over. To keep things from getting too awkward, Maura looks back at the victim beside her, hoping neither of the men caught her staring. She was used to people talking about her behind her back and was quick to notice it was happening right before her at that moment.

The doctor has a few minutes to collect her initial findings when Frost walks over; aware of the dead body and keeping his distance.

"So anything to tell us, doc?" Frost pulls out a notepad and pen, ready to jot down information.

"Yes. He seems to have been shot twice; one in the leg and then one in the back of the head."

"Hmm, execution style." Frost makes a note. He's aware of how Maura must feel, and keeps to small talk knowing (thanks to Jane for telling him) that she must fill her brain with random/useless information or else she may just start crying.

"How long's he been dead?"

"Mm, approximately two hours." Maura goes through the man's pockets and pulls out his wallet, handing it to Frost. The detective takes the small leather pouch and riffles through several cards, pictures and receipts. Frost pulls out a driver's license and compares the face on the card to the dead man in front of him. He nods, "Looks like this was Johnathan Sellers. He worked for the bank down the street. Frost replaces the card and sticks the wallet in an evidence bag. Maura stands and removes her gloves.

"I'm done here; I'll know more when I do the autopsy." The doctor pats out a wrinkle in her designer skirt and waves over two men holding a gurney.  
There is a long silence between Frost and Maura. The detective is well aware of what Jane had done and could only image how the doctor felt. His partner was supposed to speak with Maura around noon to apologize, but he had a feeling it wasn't going to happen.

"So, have you spoken to Jane lately?" Frost asks, expecting a 'no' in response.

"Yes."

"Oh, you-you did?" Maura turns her head towards the detective and nods once. The two friends turn and start walking down the middle of the parking lot.

"Mhm. I'm not sure what her intentions were, but she after a while she got rude and obnoxious so I kicked her out." If Frost had been drinking something, he was sure he would have spit it out.

"Wait, what?"

"I said: 'I'm not sure what her-"

"No, no I heard what you said. What did she do?" Maura presses her lips together regretting the things she'd just said. She was sure, with Jane's past, that the two detectives had talked about the argument at the Robber, so Maura carried on, not explaining the fight to Frost.

"Well... um, she came over about five this morning, saying that she didn't mean what she said when we were at The Dirty Robber but... I'm not sure she was telling the truth."

"Jane was telling the truth, doc." Maura stops walking and glares at the detective ahead of her.

"How would you know? You weren't there."

"No, I wasn't, but I told her to go see you. To apologize for being so..."

"Bitchy?" Frost chuckles and nods.

"Yeah I guess you could put it that way." Frost turns and walks back over to the doctor. "Angela texted me last night and I went to see Jane. She looked terrible, Maura. She couldn't stop telling me how bad she felt for saying those things. I told her that if she wanted to try and make up for what she did, the first thing on the list would be to apologize to you." Maura scrunches up her face.

"She's terrible at apologizing then, she couldn't keep her story straight the entire time."

"What do you mean?"

"Well at one point she told me she said those things because she wanted them to be true, and when I asked why she would want to hate me she said she didn't. Then, when I asked why she..." Frost holds up his arms, silently asking the doctor to stop talking as he was now completely confused.

"I don't think this is really the place for an explanation like that... how about I come by tonight; get the full story then?" Frost asks politely and points at their cars, signalling that it was time to get going. Maura fakes a smile and follows the detective to their respected vehicles.  
Frost seats himself inside his car and pulls out his phone as he starts the engine. He catches Maura exiting the parking lot off to his left and he quickly thumbs through his list of contacts, looking for J. Rizzoli.

The female detective hasn't even gotten out of bed, yet alone changed into more comfortable clothes since getting back from Maura's house earlier that morning. She hears Jo pad through the kitchen, knocking around pieces of broken glass in the process. Jane decides it's about time to clean up the mess before someone gets a shard in the foot.  
She lifts herself off the bed, feeling 300 lbs. heavier than when she first laid down. She shuffles into the main room of her apartment and makes her way into the small kitchen. Jane bends down and picks up the small dog sniffing the floor near the farthest from its owner. She lifts Jo off the ground with one hand and the dog tries to squirm away. Jane positions the dog under her arm and with her free hand checks each paw for pieces of glass. Free of any sharp shards, Jane finally releases Jo in her bedroom before closing the door; making sure the small dog doesn't walk through the glass again. The detective is about to grab a dust pan and broom when her phone beeps, signalling the arrival of a new text message. Jane huffs, annoyed, as she turns and checks her cell phone. It's from Frost:  
_Where are you? I was just with M-seems pissed._  
Jane hits the **reply** button and starts writing out a quick message.  
_Home... and I know._ She drops the phone on the counter and bends back down to the floor. She's half way through cleaning up the broken glass when her cell beeps again.  
**  
F**: _I'm coming over._  
Jane rolls her eyes and huffs once more.  
**J**: _No you're not._  
**F**: _Don't argue.  
_  
Jane knows arguing with Frost would be futile in this kind of situation, so she doesn't bother. Instead, the female detective finishes up with the broken glass still piled on the hardwood floor. Jane dumps the shards into a plastic garbage bag before wrapping it in a second one. She places the bag on the counter and moves to let Jo out of her bedroom.  
After a few minutes Jane hears the buzzer to the front doors of the apartment. She walks to the small machine and holds down the 'talk' button.

"Yeah?"

"Hey." Frost's voice comes through the speakers of the machine and Jane buzzes him into her building.  
She knows Frost is going to give her hell, and she immediately regrets buzzing him in. Within a minute, a knock sounds at her front door. Jane turns and pulls the door open, letting it swing freely. Frost steps in and pulls the door closed behind him. Jo hears the man enter and comes running over from her spot under a chair to say hello. Frost scratches the small dog behind the ears and soon after stands back up; Jo turns, searching for a new hand to pat her. The female detective sits in the centre of her couch and stares straight ahead at her blank TV as Jo jumps up beside her and rests her small head on Jane lap. Jane's partner stays standing by the door, his hands in his pants pockets.  
When Frost doesn't flare up like he had the last time he was over, Jane looks over at him expectantly.  
Frost takes a breath and moves the sit on the coffee table opposite Jane.

"What are you doing?" He asks his voice soft. Jane looks away and starts to rub at the scars in her hands. "I thought you told me you loved her..." Jane takes in a quick breath. It's weird hearing something like that voiced out loud; even if she had said it a couple of times herself. When she said it however, it was when she didn't really believe it and when she wished she didn't. With Frost saying it... Jane doesn't know. It just gives the words an amount of power she doesn't expect.  
Jane is tired of trying to make things seem right when they clearly aren't.

"Yes. And I do. I tried telling her but... I don't know, Frost." Jane opens and closes her hands into fists, trying to calm her nerves. Frost simply nods and gives his partner a small smile.

"You just need another chance." Jane's eyes widen.

"No, Frost, I-I can't. I mean I-"

"Jane." Frost becomes stern and cocks his head to the side just slightly. Jane takes a deep breath and gives half a nod.

"Okay. I'll give it a try some time."

"Jane." Frost turns his head further to the side by an inch.

"Frost! C'mon, I just went to see her this morning. She won't want to see me twice in one day." Jane shifts on the couch and rubs her hands together again.

"She might not want to see you, but she needs to. And you need to see her too." Jane knows Frost is right, at least on some level. Let's go to the Robber, get our minds off it for a while then..." Frost offers as he stands. Jane contemplates going to The Dirty Robber after what had happened there the night before, but she knows she needs a drink and she's run out of beer.

"You paying?" Frost smiles.

"Alright, sure. Let's go." Jane shifts Jo out of her lap and stands reluctantly.

The two partners are in Frost's beat up police-issued car and turning down all too familiar streets, other cars and people passing by slowly. Jane is daydreaming for most of the ride, but as Frost turns down a street that doesn't lead to the Robber, Jane finally pipes up.

"I... I thought you said we were heading to the Robber... for drinks?" Frost stays silent. "Frost?" Jane's heart rate increases as they make their way down another well-known road. As far as the female detective could figure out, they were now heading to Maura's house. "You sonofabitch... You lied to me!" Jane shifts in her seat.

"I'm not Maura, Janie, it's expected…" Frost steals a glance at his partner and smirks.

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**Reviews are lovely!**


	8. Apologies and Secrets

**Chapter Eight: Apologies and Secrets**

_This is a shorter chapter; not sure what I'm doing... The next chapter up basically up to you guys... the comments/reviews will depict what the next chapter is about;) You'll read about the two options at the end of the chapter... Happy reading!** Please R&R!**_

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Jane is sure she's going to throw up. She even considers unlocking the car door and jumping out at the next stop light. She can't see Maura now; not after everything she's said and done. Maura hates her and its next to impossible to sway the mind Dr. Maura Isles. Jane's heart is beating fast, and the ride to the doctor's house seems to slow down; prolonging the inevitable. She hands start to sweat and she runs them across her pant legs in hopes of drying them. No luck.

Frost has stopped smiling to himself now, he knows he won, there's no need to rub it in. He stares straight ahead, checks the LCD clock lighting up on the dash, then the road again. It's silent in the car, save for Jane's boot tapping repeatedly on the floor mat at her feet. She's nervous. That much Frost can tell. But why is another question. He knows telling someone you love them is always a big, scary deal; but he's not asking Jane to do that. Not now anyway.

"There's no need to be so scared, Jane." Frost tries to comfort his partner, but as usual, she goes on the defensive.

"I'm not_ scared_. I'm just going to chat with an old friend. We are just going to catch up." Jane tries to reassure herself more than to inform Frost of her plan.  
He was supposed to meet Maura tonight anyway so he was almost certain no one but the doctor would be there to interrupt them.

"I know I shouldn't have lied to you Jane, but you wouldn't have come with me if I hadn't." Jane realizes how true it was and nods. He was right; she would have shut everything down and gone back to bed. It wasn't her usual way of dealing with things like this, not like these types of things happened often, but that's what she felt like doing more than confronting everything going on in her brain.

"No, no… you're right, Frost. I know why you did what you did." Jane was still nervously sweating (and shaking) but she was calmer than she was earlier the same car ride.  
The two detectives pull up to Maura's house and Frost stops at the end of the driveway. Both detectives look up at the house for a moment. Frost turns his gaze from the building to his partner.

"You can do it, Jane. You'll be fine. You're tough like that." Frost tries for reassurance but Jane just snorts. When Frost makes no move to get out, Jane turns to look at him.

"Aren't you coming up?" The female detective wipes her hands on her pants once more.

"This isn't my fight." Jane knows he doesn't mean 'fight' in the literal sense, but she is sure that's how it is going to turn out if she screws up (again). Frost unlocks the car doors so Jane can get out.  
The female detective takes a breath and opens the car door. She shuts it behind her quietly, not wanting her presence to been known too soon. Jane walks up the driveway just like she had earlier that day. For some reason, however, it doesn't seem as long. She only has to walk a quarter of the driveway before she's at the front door but she stops and looks back at her partner sitting quietly in the car. Frost nods and Jane takes in another deep breath. This is not like you Jane; get it together! She chastises herself and wrings her hands together before she starts walking again. Jane walks up to the front door and hesitantly knocks on it. There's movement inside and the door opens suddenly. Maura has a smile plastered to her face; a kind, half smile reserved for friends. It's the same scene as before. The female detective hopes this is the part the two instances start to differentiate from one another. Maura's smile falters and she peers around Jane, looking for Frost.

"Frost said he was going to stop by. He should actually be here any—" the sound of tires peeling away is heard behind Jane and both women turn to see Frost driving off. "Oh." Maura nods to herself and opens to door wider, allowing Jane to enter. Jane takes a step inside tentatively and turns to look at Maura as she closed the door behind her guest.

"Maura..." Jane starts but when the doctor looks up at her with her big hazel eyes, she's at a loss for words. Jane has never seen eyes like Maura's. She wishes they are the only ones she'll ever wake up to for the rest of her life…

"Frost told me that you meant what you were saying when you came over earlier." Maura states. She walks over to her fridge and pulls out a beer; only as a gesture of kindness to a guest in her house, not because it was Jane. The detective shuffles over to the kitchen and stands on the opposite side of the island. Maura places the cold bottle on the counter and slides it over to her guest. Jane takes it and pops off the cap easily. She takes a long sip of it quickly, hoping until rid her of some nervousness.

"I did." Jane replies simply, not trusting herself to say much more than that at once.  
"Then why did you say all those… _other_ things at the Robber?" It's not accusatory, or mean-spirited. Maura was genuinely curious. It takes the detective a minute to find her nerves again.

"I was scared." Jane shrugs and starts picking at the label on her beer bottle.

"Of what?"

"Me." Maura scrunches her brow. "The things going on inside me; my feelings," Jane pauses. _You're ready, Jane. Say it._ "...for you." Maura cocks her head to the side by about an inch and her eyes narrow. It's obvious she's confused, so Jane decides it's about time to elaborate. "Maura... I was—_am_ confused about the things I'm feeling. At first I was scared of them—petrified; I didn't know why I was feeling that way." Jane is afraid to stop talking at this point. She is so afraid in fact, that she doesn't even notice the front door to Maura's house squeak open slightly. It's Angela. She peeks in and is about to call for the doctor when she hears Jane talking. She stays hidden behind the slightly agape door and listens. "It wasn't something I wanted to believe to be true but Frost... he helped me understand. He got me to see that I... that I love you, Maura. I think I always have. I was terrified of losing you as a friend if I ever tried to be more with you, so I tried to keep myself from liking you in that way. I didn't want to get too close to you in case you didn't feel the same way but in the end I just pushed us further apart and I feel like a giant idiot for doing that. I made a stupid mistake, Maura. Like, really stupid. I understand if you don't feel the same way, I do, I just... I just wanted to say that I love you, Maura. That I really, _really_ love you. "Jane is breathing heavy, her hands and the back of her neck are sweating. Her heart is pounding away in her chest and she is genuinely scared that she might actually have a heart attack right there in Maura's kitchen.  
Maura is silent for a moment. That moment seems to drag on for an hour, maybe two before there is even a sign of a response to Jane's confession. Maura opens her mouth to say something by nothing comes out.

"Maura?" Jane searches the doctor's face for some sign of recognition of what has just gone on. "Please say something. _Anything._" Jane continues to peer at Maura when she suddenly hears the door squeak. Jane snaps her head to the right quickly and catches sight of Angela, now standing with about three-fourths of her body inside Maura's home; a shocked expression plastered to her face. "...Ma?" Jane says meekly. Angela looks from Jane, to Maura and then several different places along the floor. She's just as speechless as Maura; she turns and closes the door behind her as she quickly makes her way back to the guest house on the other side of the property. "_Oh, God_." Jane takes a couple steps towards the now empty doorway but then stops. She's not sure if she should stay with Maura or go and explain herself to Angela. Maura is still reeling after the confession, still staring at the spot Jane had been a few seconds earlier. Angela is halfway to the guest house however. _Great, _Jane thought._ What the hell do I do now?_

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_**So, does Jane stay with Maura or go find Angela?_

_Both options WILL happen... I just don't know which one to write about first :P_

_You guys have until Oct. 10th 6:00am to tell me which you prefer before I start writing chapter 9:)_


	9. So, What Do You Say?

**Chapter Nine: So, What Do You Say?**

_Based solely on comments/reviews, Jane decided to stay with Maura! She still needs to see Angela however... Shortest chapter so far, and I apologise for that!  
**Please R&R!**_

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It was either stay with a speechless Maura or search for what was probably a very confused Angela. Jane silently debated the two options for a moment. It didn't take long however, to see that Maura needed Jane's presence at that moment more than Angela would.  
Jane turns to look at Maura; she is now stammering quietly to herself, trying to wrap her head around everything that had just transpired. The tall, female detective made her way over to the doctor and stood opposite her, leaning over the counter and lightly taking one of Maura's manicured hands in hers.

"Maura?" Jane is searching her friend's face for a sign of recognition when Maura pulls herself out of her reverie and looks over at Jane. It's silent between then and Jane tries for a weak, friendly smile; hopefully lightening the load of information she had just dropped on the doctor. Maura and Jane hold the gaze for a few seconds before the blonde cracks a smile. It's habitually comforting for Jane. To see a smile from Maura is the usual; however, there is something about it this time that discerns it from all the other times the doctor had smiled at anyone; including Jane. There was recognition, comfort, happiness... love. Maura squeezes Jane's hand as a sign of understanding.

"I..." Maura starts but trails off; still not sure of the way she should respond to such information. She takes on her logical, scientific role and starts again. "I have entertained the notion of being with women..." Jane smirks. Maura was always very open-minded and so finding out that she thought about being with women didn't come as much of a surprise. "But I've only ever actually been with men." Jane's stomach is flipping out. She feels close to fine one minute and then extremely nauseous the next. What was Maura getting at? _Please don't be what I think..._ Jane closes her eyes and takes a breath; her heart is beating faster, just as quick as when she first admitted to being in love with Maura just a few minutes earlier. "I don't think I've ever thought of you in that context, Jane,"_ Oh, God. Please, no._Jane tenses and closer her eyes even tighter, wishing time could go backwards even for just a few minutes... "...but I wouldn't mind starting to." Jane is sure she had heard Maura incorrectly. She was sure this whole thing was going to go it a completely different direction.

"Wh...wait, _what_?" Jane's eyes flutter open and she furrows her brow, confused. Her hands are still cupped around Maura's as she tries to stand up straighter; still partially leaning over the large counter.

"I want to see what it would be like to be with a woman; to be with _you_." Maura's smile widens slightly, still genuine and holding something only reserved for special occasions.

"I don't know why this is, but I've never had a friend like you, Jane. If we can be something more than friends, something that will truly prove how much we care for each other, then I want to be a part of that." Jane releases the breath she doesn't notice she's still holding and bows her head, tremendously relieved. Maura fixes the hold Jane has on her hands so she can reciprocate the same feeling the hand-holding had given her. Maura squeezes gently as she leans forward slightly. "I love you too." It's almost a whisper, but it makes the words all the more intimate. It's not awkward or tense between the two women. The silence is comfortable as they search the other's face for something discernible. Jane inches closer to the blonde; her eyes flickering from Maura's darkened hazel ones to her slightly parted lips. _You've gone this far, Jane..._Jane makes a haste move and kisses Maura quickly before pulling away; gauging her friend's reaction. It's obvious Maura wants more when she moves in closer to the woman opposite her; unconsciously biting her lip as she watches at Jane's.

They are still leaning over the island in the middle of Maura's kitchen so Jane stands and walks over to Maura's side of the island. The doctor keeps a light hold on Jane's hands as the detective turns both of them away from the counter. Maura leans against the island as Jane moves closer and kisses the smaller woman again. This time it's longer and much more passionate. Jane releases the doctor's hands and pulls her left one up to caress the smooth skin underneath Maura's ear. Her thumb rubs lightly against Maura's jaw and the kiss deepens; Her other hand trails over the thin material of Maura's blouse at her waist, feeling the heat from her skin radiating through it. Maura reaches out and lightly touches the bicep of Jane's right arm; her other hand grabbing cautiously at Jane's jacket, trying to pull her in closer. After what seems like several minutes, the two women break off the kiss. They stay close however; Maura bites her lip a second time, looking at Jane's and the detective smirks. She looks at Maura before the doctor glances up and meets Jane's gaze; Maura starts to giggle quietly. Jane returns the laugh and lightly rubs Maura's jaw with her thumb one more time before dropping it and grasping the doctor's hand still holding onto her jacket.  
Maura is still smiling and gazing at Jane when she starts to say,

"I think I could get used to this..." Jane's smile widens and she looks away, feeling her face turn red.

"I truly am sorry, Maura. You know that, right?" Jane is still smiling as she looks hopefully at the doctor across from her.

"Of course, Jane, I know that." Maura almost looks hurt as she thinks about the fact that Jane would suspect her of not believing the things said earlier; however, the hurt expression is wiped clean from Maura face almost instantly and she pulls Jane into a hug. Jane reciprocates the gesture, realizing quickly that she didn't want to let Maura go. _Ever._  
They stay like that, rocking side to side only slightly before Maura pipes up once more.

"Did... did I hear the door? Earlier." She adds the last part when she feels Jane lift her cheek away from Maura's head to glance at the side door.

"Mhm." Jane rests her cheek back against the top of Maura's head.

"Oh. Who was it?"

"Ma." Maura pulls away slowly to get a better look at Jane's face.

"Have you told her about you being...?" Maura trails off when she realizes Jane is already nodding.

"In a way, yeah. I should actually go see how she's doing." Jane releases the smaller woman reluctantly and starts for the side door. The female detective just wraps her hand around the doorknob when she hears Maura behind her.

"Jane?" She always loved how Maura said her name.

"Yeah?" The detective is smirking lovingly when she turns back to the doctor.

"I love you." Both women smile wider. Jane turns fully and moves back towards Maura. She grabs both of her hands once more and squeezes then tightly before rubbing her thumbs against the back of both of them.  
"I love you too." The taller woman leans down and kisses the doctor gently. It is a mix between their first two kisses and neither one of the two women mind it at all. They pull away and Maura nods once acceptingly; Jane turns back towards the side door. She makes a single move of grabbing the doorknob and stepping out to leave for the guest house.

Jane runs her fingers through her thick hair, still grinning, as she made her way to the guest house on the other side of Maura`s property. Where she was once terrified of both Maura's and Angela's reactions to her confession, she cared no longer if Angela didn't agree with her decision. If Angela decides not to support her, she still has Maura; and that is all that matters at this point. The detective takes a deep breath as she looks across the property to the guest house. The lights on the right side of the home are on but one on the left side flickers off, signalling the fact that Angela was just leaving her bedroom.

Jane walks up to the front door, rustles up her nerves, and knocks. It's silent for a moment and then suddenly the door creaks open. Angela peers through the small opening the door and its frame create._ And there goes my nerve..._ Jane smiles weakly and starts wringing her hands together.

"Hi, ma."

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_What. The hell. Am I doing? Reviews are always appreciated!_

_**So I've actually been thinking of ending this fic in a couple chapters... I don't know why or how, I just will be. I don't want to get too carried away with it/too into the Rizzles relationship as I'm not all that good at writing fluff and co.  
So yeah, 2-3 more chapters and I'm done; just a heads up if anyones cares;)_


	10. Coming Home

**Chapter Ten: Coming Home**

_Really bad and really short. I've given you fair warning. I just wanted to apologise again for the giant gap in updates! A bunch of personal stuff came up and with what little time I had free was still not enough time to get ideas flowing and written down... I worked on this for only a few hours straight last night and edited it this morning so mistakes and/or terrible ideas are probably going to show up;) **Please R&R!**_

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Angela is quiet. She looks Jane up and down before opening the front door a bit wider. Jane takes it as an invitation and hesitantly steps inside, just like when she walked into Maura's place.

The detective searches her mother's face for a sign of happiness, disgust, love, hate; _anything_. Suddenly it seems as if Angela has turned into the hardest suspect to crack, not showing anything too overt. Jane's mother closes the door silently behind her daughter and shuffles into the kitchen, not uttering a word.  
Jane's palms are clammy, the back of her neck is burning and her throat is extremely tight. She takes in a deep breath, and it seems to be the hardest one of the night.  
"Listen, ma, I get that you don't get it... _I_ still don't really get it. I don't understand why I feel this way, but I know it's right. At least to me. Ma, I-"  
Angela raises a hand to silence her daughter and oddly, Jane complies. This is where Angela makes eye contact with Jane for the second time that whole night. Angela contemplates what she is going to say for a long while. It looks as if she is ready to speak several times, but she always stops herself; her mouth opening and closing slowly.  
An awkward silence lingers between the two women for several minutes when suddenly,

"You're right." Angela whispers. "I don't get it. I don't think I ever will. I don't know what to think of you Jane. I really don't." Angela moves and sits on the couch in the living room and Jane tentatively moves with her. "Since you were just a baby, Jane, I always imagined you with a nice husband and a dozen cute babies of your own." Jane bows her head. She feels disappointment; but not towards Angela; towards herself. Her mother had only asked that Jane be happy, and she believed that for Jane to be happy she needed a man. She felt like she had let her mother down on the one thing she asked of her.

That was when Jane realizes the most important thing needed to be known; that while she loves Angela, she isn't about to let her control her life, either directly or by using guilt. Jane wanted to be happy and for that to happen, she wanted to be with a woman; with Maura.

"Ma. When I first started thinking this through, I worried that you would hate me. I worried that you would think I was doing these things to spite you for… _whatever_ reason." Jane takes a step closer to her mother and Angela looks up. "I know that as a mother, you want your kids to be happy and for me to be happy I need to stop lying to myself. This is who I am and if you don't accept that because it's not what you wanted for me then... _then I don't care_. This is what I want and it's what I'm going to have." Jane has much more to say; so much in fact that she doesn't even know where to start the rest of her speech.

"Janie... I don't know what I expected from you... but this wasn't even on the list of possibilities. I'm not about to pretend like I understand, but I do know that if it makes you happy and you're comfortable with it, I support it. I want you to know that I'm on your side. I _want_you to be happy." Jane is smiling wide now, gazing over at her mother still sitting on the couch. Angela grins back and her daughter lets out a whispered, hesitant laugh. It something Jane never thought she'd start, but she moved in and hugged her mother like never before. Where she would squirm around and back away, Jane was now embracing her mother as if it were the last time she was to see her.

"I love you, ma." Jane whispers.

"I love you too, Janie."

It was some time before Jane realized how late it had gotten; or to be technical, how early it now was. She had stayed to talk a few things over with her mother and ended up informing her of several things she had been keeping from Angela for quite some time. When the digital clock on the microwave signalled one in the morning, Jane called it a night. They both had work in the morning and needed as much time to get to sleep as possible. Jane thanks her mother for listening and supporting, and quietly leaves the guest house.

Jane has an internal debate as to whether she should meet with Maura again or let her sleep as it was passing on one in the morning. _I want to see her..._ The fact that Frost had driven her to Maura's and she therefore had no ride home is used as an excuse to stay just a bit longer. Jane decides just to check on the smaller woman and then leave. _I just need to see her._  
The female detective works her way around the side of Maura's home and pulls out a key Maura had copied for Jane a couple years earlier. She unlocks the side door and enters the dark, quiet house. Jane doesn't turn on any lights, she doesn't remove her jacket or shoes. She plans to leave in only a few minutes and wasting time to put the heavy work boots and jacket back on would heighten the risk of Maura waking.  
Jane tip-toes passed the kitchen and turns down the hallway to Maura's bedroom. A floorboard creaks beneath the detective's foot and she stops quickly. She hears movement beyond the door to the other woman's bedroom and waits, hoping that the sound didn't awaken Maura. After a few silent seconds, Jane starts moving once more.  
Once at the slightly agape door, Jane peers into the dark bedroom. Maura is sleeping soundly on the left side, one hand on her stomach, the other above her head. Her breathing is light and Jane makes it her priority to not disturb the smaller woman. _Okay, Jane. You see she's sleeping. Let her sleep._Jane ignores everything her brain tells her and pushes the door open slowly. The female detective shuffles across the room and gently sits on the right side of the bed. All she can hear is the slow, rhythmic breathing coming from Maura lying beside her. Without thinking or debating, Jane turns and lies down beside the doctor, on top of the sheets in hopes of minimizing the possibility of waking her. Suddenly, the bed creeks loudly and Maura finally stirs.

"...Jane?" Maura whispers and Jane sucks in a breath._ Crap._

"Oh sorry, Maura. I didn't mean to wake you up, I just-"

"I was waiting for you, but then I figured I needed sleep for tomorrow and I wasn't even sure if you were going home or staying so logically I-" Jane stifles a laugh.

"I get it. I'm glad you wanted to stay up to see me again though." Maura smiles sleepily and turns to her side so she can face Jane. Jane turns her head to the right and both women smile at the other.

"I'm glad you decided to stay." Maura whispers. Jane doesn't have the heart to tell Maura that she had planned on leaving soon after checking in her, so she ops for plan B.

"Me too." The female detective moves over and pulls the blankets out from under her while kicking off her boots. She removes the suit jacket and snuggles in next to Maura.  
Maura shifts closer and both women relax into each other. Jane takes in a deep, calming breath, inhaling the scent of the woman next to her, and grins unconsciously. They spend the whole night like that, sleeping; comfortable and happy.

* * *

_Reviews are always great!_


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